Living the Dream

No visit to America is complete without a trip to Walmart.  Around the world people not only know of this store, but more importantly they know about its customers.  As we were leaving Radek asked, "Is it perfectly safe for me to take my entire wallet?  I don't need to hide it?" 

On the way, we stopped at the library, so I could drop off a highly intellectual book about critical thinking.  I returned to find Radek giggling and pointing.  "What?" I asked.  When he pointed, I suddenly saw the world through his eyes.  I had just walked past this truck twice without giving it a second thought, but upon reflection, it was pretty funny.  I mumbled something about the creativity of rednecks. 

I could see the slight disappointment on his face when we entered.  He said, "They are just regular Americans."   As the expert on American culture, I am able to answer his many questions. 
"Do people really wear pajamas in public?"  "Do black people really like chicken?" 
It didn't take long until we saw a woman wearing a shower cap.  I explained that she had curlers in her hair and was covering them.  "Why doesn't she just do that at home?"  Well, after all, it's just Walmart.

His favorite part of the visit was watching a woman try to wedge herself into a motorized cart.
Radek asked, "And the pole is to let others know she is coming?" 
"No.  The pole is to prevent her from leaving the store with it.  The pole is taller than the door." 
This caused such an outburst of laughter on his part that I knew our visit was finally a success. 

We went to Papago Park to hike for a few hours.  Radek commented, "This is what I imagined of the southwest."  After he took about 50 photographs of rather mediocre cacti, I informed him that we would see many more much substantial specimens. 

He was surprised at the size of Phoenix and that there were mountains - in the middle of the city.  We watched planes continually fly into Sky Harbor.  He laughed at all the air traffic and said, "Look.  Two fly in at the same time." and shook his head.

I played tour guide and provided Radek with way more information that he wanted about the landscape, plants, and history.  He mostly just wanted to take pictures of the "plant with needles that has arms."  We learn a lot from each other.  I taught him the words, "saguaro and palo verde."  He taught me the term, "handyman cleavage."  I taught him the verb form of the word "hump."  It was highly intellectual.

In preparation for our culinary adventure in Mexico, we made tacos.  Tahoe has bonded well with his fellow carnivore, particularly one who shares his food.  Even Greta started begging when she saw the turkey.  While eating the messy tacos, Radek picked it up, chowed down, and licked his fingers.  Then, he announced solemnly, "I have lost my dignity." 

The following day, we drove up South Mountain to the summit where I intended to show Radek a lovely view of the Phoenix Metropolitan area.  Naturally, this was one of the few days it rained, and the view was rather disappointing.  However, Radek had the rare opportunity to experience the enchanting smell of creosote during rain in the desert. 

Afterwards, we went to Subway for lunch.  In his quest to try all things American, he tried Root Beer for the first time. 
"Why is it called beer?  It's not anything like beer," he asked.
"I don't know.  It has nothing to do with beer.  What do you think?"
"I think it is something you could get used to..." he said contemplatively.
(Hysterical laughter from me.)
"Oh shit.  This is going on your blog."