Long-Haired, Freaky Person Wants to Apply!
That's my new tagline. What's a tagline? Well, it's only the newest trend in résumé writing. I think my tagline will attract attention AND show I have good taste in music. Plus, I don't think it can make anything worse since my current résumé has not done a lot for me in terms of getting a job. You would think that someone with 17 years experience and a Master's degree would have endless possibilities on the horizon. Unfortunately, no.
I'm getting used to rejection now. However, I do prefer it when companies ignore my job inquiry rather than when they provide a response. It's much worse when they tell me that they don't want me working for them. Of course, they don't say it like that. They always say something like, "We're going in another direction."
I received a particularly irritating email today. It said, "We carefully review all applications and consider each person for current or future opportunities. We are moving forward with other candidates for this position."
Damn. That says a lot. First of all, they carefully reviewed it. It wasn't just thrown in the trash. Secondly, they didn't want to even bother with an interview. Thirdly, I am not only unemployable now, but I also have no chance in the future. Wait. It gets worse. This was from The Container Store. That means I am unfit to sell plastic boxes with lids.
I discussed my problem with a friend because it's probably a good idea to get a normal person's point of view.
"I keep blowing my interviews." (pouting)
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, they seem interested in me until I actually talk to them."
"What did you do? Did you try to be funny?"
"I was really serious during the second one. Oh. Um, I did make a joke...during both interviews."
"You probably shouldn't do that."
"But they laughed."
"Oh my God. Now, I understand why you were so excited about that part-time cashier position. Did you make a joke during that interview too."
"Yes. And I also did jazz hands."
"I don't even know what that is."
(I waved my hands in the air while making a really big smile.)
"Why would you do that?"
"To express my sparkly personality."
Upon reflection, I have decided that I am the victim of discrimination. I'm not sure what kind yet. Possibly because I'm a woman. Maybe it's agism. Or the fact that I'm so beautiful. All I know for sure is that it can't be the fact that I say things aloud before thinking.
That's my new tagline. What's a tagline? Well, it's only the newest trend in résumé writing. I think my tagline will attract attention AND show I have good taste in music. Plus, I don't think it can make anything worse since my current résumé has not done a lot for me in terms of getting a job. You would think that someone with 17 years experience and a Master's degree would have endless possibilities on the horizon. Unfortunately, no.
I'm getting used to rejection now. However, I do prefer it when companies ignore my job inquiry rather than when they provide a response. It's much worse when they tell me that they don't want me working for them. Of course, they don't say it like that. They always say something like, "We're going in another direction."
I received a particularly irritating email today. It said, "We carefully review all applications and consider each person for current or future opportunities. We are moving forward with other candidates for this position."
Damn. That says a lot. First of all, they carefully reviewed it. It wasn't just thrown in the trash. Secondly, they didn't want to even bother with an interview. Thirdly, I am not only unemployable now, but I also have no chance in the future. Wait. It gets worse. This was from The Container Store. That means I am unfit to sell plastic boxes with lids.
I discussed my problem with a friend because it's probably a good idea to get a normal person's point of view.
"I keep blowing my interviews." (pouting)
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, they seem interested in me until I actually talk to them."
"What did you do? Did you try to be funny?"
"I was really serious during the second one. Oh. Um, I did make a joke...during both interviews."
"You probably shouldn't do that."
"But they laughed."
"Oh my God. Now, I understand why you were so excited about that part-time cashier position. Did you make a joke during that interview too."
"Yes. And I also did jazz hands."
"I don't even know what that is."
(I waved my hands in the air while making a really big smile.)
"Why would you do that?"
"To express my sparkly personality."
Upon reflection, I have decided that I am the victim of discrimination. I'm not sure what kind yet. Possibly because I'm a woman. Maybe it's agism. Or the fact that I'm so beautiful. All I know for sure is that it can't be the fact that I say things aloud before thinking.
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